Brenda L. Olney

Brenda came into this world November 4, 1958, at the hospital in Kenmare, ND, and was born into eternal life Thursday September 24, 2026, completely healed and free of pain, weakness, and limitations. Her parents were Clair and Rebecca (Stensrud) Olney. Brenda enjoyed her early years on the family farm near the Canadian border, north of Kenmare. She graduated from high school in Flaxton, ND, in 1977 (go Raiders!) where she played basketball. After high school, Brenda attended Minot State College to pursue a nursing degree. That changed when she married Jim Arnold and they began a family. During this time, they owned and operated Flaxton Super Valu where she established many good friends, working all aspects of the store while raising her family.

She moved to Bowbells, ND, with the three kids (Jennifer, Marshall and Reid) and worked at the Burke County Courthouse in the Register of Deeds office. One evening in the fall of 1986, she joined some friends for an evening out at the Lakeshore Supper Club, between Kenmare and Bowbells. Little did she know she sat on the unoccupied barstool of Tom Pence while he was away for a moment. Their friend, Kenny, introduced them. Even though Tom was known as “the funeral guy”, she did not let that bother her and their “walk of life” began.

Brenda returned to school in Fargo, ND, in 1990, with three young children in tow. As a single mom with three kids living in student housing, she persisted and achieved her Masters degree in Clinical Counseling in the spring of 1994, from NDSU. After passing her board exams, she opted to use her counseling skills with her family. She and Tom were married October 16, 1993, in Fargo. Getting Tom and the kids blended together was not difficult but it did have its challenges, which is where she utilized her counseling skills and common sense. Everyone survived and lived to tell about it with gratitude and amazement.

During these years, Brenda volunteered for several organizations including Hospice of the Red River Valley. She also served on the board of directors of Freedom Resource Center for Independent Living. She worked in the office of the church where they attended and she also worked from home, scheduling appointments for FM Driver Training. Brenda would tell you that her greatest accomplishment and that which she was most proud of was her family. Far from perfect, of course, but their relationships have stayed strong over the years.

Brenda overcame many obstacles but through it all, she (and Tom!) came to realize their paths were God’s plan for their lives and they were saved only by God’s grace and not by their overcoming obstacles and being “good people.” That peace sustained her and her family, especially these past few weeks.

Brenda’s family are her husband and best friend, Tom Pence; children, Jennifer (Derek) Hovland, Marshall Arnold, and Reid (Amanda) Arnold; grandchildren, Jayden (Easton Ebeling) Hovland, Drew Hovland, and Avie Undhjem; sister, Joyce Olney; brothers, Larry (Judy) Olney and Casey Olney; good friend and high school exchange student, Margarita Pavon; and of course, Molly the companion dog.

She was preceded in death by her parents, Clair and Rebecca; step-mother, Marcia Olney; and two brothers, Victor and Russell.

Please consider memorials to an animal shelter or food pantry of your choice.

A Gathering of Family and Friends and Memorial Service will be held at Triumph Lutheran Brethren Church, West Fargo, ND, time and date to be determined.

We invite you to take a few moments to share fond memories and words of comfort and condolence with Brenda’s family in the Guestbook below her obituary.

(Korsmo Funeral and Cremation Service, Moorhead, MN)